There once was a time where I would make time every week to do a passion that has sat by the wayside for so long and that was my writing. As of late, so many factors have stepped in the way that kept me from pursuing this on the regular: 1) my dance fitness classes which include memorizing choreography, mentoring other instructors and keeping my classes fresh with fun routines and playlists; and 2) the day job which has exploded in so many ways that new responsibilities, new goals and immediate deadlines have consumed major pockets of my time which has left me drained and emotionless to the point where the work will get done when it gets done.
Today, I had something happen that I never have thought would happen in the many months of the hamster wheel that I have been spinning on. I actually had TIME! Time to really sit down and focus and evaluate life. Between the annoyance of all the small things like trying to sleep in a house where there is so much activity going on and not having a moment’s peace of quiet and silence to finding motivation and inspiration to get my shit done, I’ve not had that one thing that I need in order to rejuvenate and that is TIME (and sleep for that matter).
After my lovely, semi-catnap I had while contending with my roommate cooking me out of the house, I decided to get in my car (groggy, tired, annoyed and all) and take a drive to clear my head. I did the mundane usual things like take clothing to the cleaners, shopping for necessities and shining the car up for the week. It was somewhere in the midst of all these errands I decided that I needed to just take in my surroundings and re-awaken my spirit. Re-visit my why I decided to move from Austin, Texas to Los Angeles, California.
I imagined myself at that moment through the eyes of a newly arrived person in this city and explored my surroundings. My first stop was in Beverly Hills. I literally parked my car and walked up and down Rodeo Drive looking at all the mega expensive shops, luxury cars and just did some good old-fashioned people watching. I found this part of the day so interesting as I saw people walking wearing some of the latest trends that you might find in a Cosmopolitan magazine or people carrying bags from a name brand boutique while talking on their cell phone to probably someone on the other end about meeting up for drinks or discussing their purchase. I found myself feeling a little jealous, not because I wanted their materialistic items, I was jealous of the fact that these people walked and moved like they had all the TIME in the world. Something that I lacked in my own life.
I did snap a few pictures as the normal tourist would and examined each one that I took. I admired the beauty of the landscaping and the not-so-hectic, but busy environment that I was around. At that moment, I was blessed that I got TIME to enjoy the city I live in. For 18 years, I’ve worked and focused on getting from Point A to Point B without even enjoying the TIME that I do have for being in the moment. There are several pockets and places I love to go where I can get inspired again: the beach, a drive down the coast with my favorite tunes playing from Spotify, my local coffee house, etc. My spirit felt moved to reach out and grab my laptop this evening to blog and post for the first time in a LONG period in dormancy. You never know what will become unless you re-start somewhere, right?
I guess my point of this post is to re-awaken my why. Re-awaken the aspects of my life that brought me to this place. Re-awaken my thought process and start writing and blogging again, but most of all, make the TIME that I need in order to continue pouring from my cup.